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You're stuck in a self-petpetuating negative cycle

 Rage, like peace, seeks to maintain itself and therefore seeks fuel, food. You have begun to feed your spirit bad fruit. Malice, hatred, suspicion, chaos, loudness, yelling, violence, weapon wielding, verbal assaults, picking, ⛏️ Ng, picking at a thing, seeking more to make you angrier. You can just as easily seek peace, calm, love, acceptance, good news. And that can become just as addictive. It's where we all must and eventually will go. This upheaval is birthing pains. I had to turn off to become a lighter carrier because it's very easy to get sucked back in. 

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