Jan 25

 I have to take your claim that you were just a patriot who got caught up by mob mentality at face value. But, just being real here, I'm not sure that characterization is going to fly as a defense in court. It was those selfies you posted on FB that led to your arrest, right? They weren't exactly benign. If the prosecution presents pics of you in the chamber flag draped, fist raised and looking pleased with yourself, the 'I just got caught up' defense is going to be a hard sell. Those kinds of pics scream, "I came here to get a job done and I want the world to know it." I can believe that not everyone who went to the Capitol that day had murderous intent, but I don't believe anyone went with the expectation of a peaceful protest. Everyone went with purpose and a "stop the steal" mentality. How were you intending to stop a vote taking place within a closed chamber without physically and forcefully disrupting the proceedings? 

Reading your letter took me back to the 2016 Dem primaries and the plans we were making to protest at the convention. Do you remember that? We talked about it for weeks after seeing all the shenanigans leading up to it. We put in for time off at work and practically had our bags packed. I can't remember what stopped us. I remember the DNC announcing they were erecting fences and barricades to keep Bernie supporters out. We had fire in our bellies then. I know for me it was a sense of righteous indignation like I'd never felt before. I was willing to put myself in harm's way for the sake of justice and restoration of the democratic process.

I think you and I both, and thousands of other progressives, saw ourselves as civil rights champions back then. We likened ourselves to '60s era warriors for equality. Looking back on it, I think we were pretty full of ourselves. But something stopped us from making that trip to the convention even though we wholeheartedly believed a steal was underway. What was it?  Was it just that we thought it was pointless, or did we anticipate trouble that neither of us could afford to get into because we have families and responsibilities? Probably a little of both. I, for one, am glad we didn't act on that impulse. It would have gained us nothing, at best. At worst, we could have been harmed or find ourselves in legal trouble long after anyone who wasn't 'us' cared.

From that experience, I understand completely how incensed one can feel in the face of perceived injustice. It can overtake you, and needing to right that perceived wrong can become an obsession. It becomes dangerous, though, when you hunker down with like-minded people who are just as obsessed. You begin to feed and fuel one another's anger, distrust, and paranoia. I see that much more clearly now. It took leaving Facebook for me to really see the dynamic for what it is. I really needed this detox. As bad as being in jail is for you right now, maybe the absence of social media influence on your psyche will prove to be a silver lining.